Problem Solving

For many children, everyday frustrations can lead to big meltdowns. Perhaps your child has worked hard on a block tower, only to have it bumped and fall apart. They have tried and tried and just can’t get their shoe on. They rip their paper when coloring too hard. You can use times like this to strengthen problem solving skills and build tolerance.

Step 1: Identify the problem. Say something like “Oh, it looks like we have a problem” and then simply state what the problem is (“The tower fell over”). Once your child has practice with this step, ask them to identify the problem (“What’s the problem?”). The key here is to model being calm in the midst of a frustrating time.

Step 2: Brainstorm solutions. Now that the problem has been labeled it’s time to come up with potential solutions to fix it. Say something like “How can we solve our problem?” In the beginning you’ll need to provide solution choices for your child. For example, “Should we build the tower back? Do you want to be all done playing with blocks?” Once your child has practice, challenge them to come up with solution ideas. You’ll be surprised at the creative solutions children have!

Step 3: Solve the problem and celebrate! Provide support as your child tries out their solution. For example, if they decided to build the block tower back, offer them help and cheer them on for their hard work. Once the problem as been solved, verbalize this so your child feels a sense of accomplishment. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used the phrase “We’ve solved the problem!” Use smiles, high fives, hugs….the idea is for your child to feel proud and see their hard work paying off.

Using this strategy over and over with small frustrations will help your child see that problems are inevitable for everyone - kids and adults alike. But with a little patience and effort they can easily solve problems - without a meltdown!