First/Then

Here’s a terrific strategy when your child is having trouble following directions. Try stating the direction as a “first, then” statement that includes a non-preferred activity followed by a motivating activity. For example, you might say “First we need to clean up our toys, and then we get to play outside” or “First brush teeth, then we’ll read books.” This strategy is also called the Premack Principle or “Grandma’s Rule.” Think, “First eat your vegetables, then you get dessert.”

The idea is for your child to be motivated to complete the first task (something that might be hard for them or they would rather avoid) and then be “rewarded” with an activity they prefer. The second activity doesn’t have to be a prize or a sweet treat, just something they would like access to (ex. playdough, going outside, screentime, reading books together, or a game of chase). The first/then approach is a win-win with your child completing the activity you need them to (like brushing teeth) and your child feeling a sense of power and reward by getting to do what they would rather do (read books together). Tip: simplify your language for younger children or children who have language delays (ex. first clean, then play).