Labeling Feelings

Putting a specific name to our feelings can be a daunting task, even for adults, so it’s vital to give your child lots of opportunities to practice. When children (or their caregivers!) are able to label an intense feeling, it helps them regain control and is an important problem-solving step. Here are a few ways you can help your child increase their emotional vocabulary and to name their emotions.

• Label your child’s feelings. Use a variety of feeling words throughout the day. You can say things like, “I bet you feel proud that you put your coat on!” or “It looks like you are disappointed the show is over.” Be sure to teach a wide variety of words (ex. frustrated, proud, lonely, tired, loved, etc.) and move beyond happy and sad. If your child can use a specific label, then you can be more specific in your response. For example, if your child is lonely, you will support her differently than if she is sad or tired.

• Label your own feelings. Just as you would for your child, label how you are feeling. Draw attention to the fact that your feelings can change (“This morning I was tired, but now I’m excited to be at the park”).

• Use a feelings chart. Hang a feelings chart in a location you and your child can easily reference to find the best match to his/her feeling. Here’s one example of a free feelings chart you can print. Or you can make your own by taking pictures of the members of your family.

• Children’s books. Read books with your child that include rich feeling vocabulary. As you read, discuss why the characters feel the way they do and ask what situations make your child feel that same emotion. Here are a few book suggestions to get you started. Search online or ask your librarian for more.

  • Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods that Make My Day (Curtis)

  • Glad Monster, Sad Monster (Emberley)

  • The Feelings Book (Parr)

  • A Little SPOT of Kindness (Alber) (Series of books for children ages 4+. Different books focus on different emotions)

  • How Are You Feeling (Mudpupy) (Lift the flap board book for younger children)